Friday, December 9, 2011

Week 10

This is the final blog entry that we have to do for Family Relations. We'll see if I continue to use this blog for everyday...
This week we have been talking about divorce and what all goes into that. There are several predictors that go into why people get divorced:
religious differences
less education
parents divorced or never married
married very young
dual earner household
previous divorce(s)
money decreased

Divorce is very sad. My dad's parents are divorced, but my parents are still together. It looks like it can be a very messy thing and no one wants to get divorced. Having my grandparents divorced has not only influenced their relationship (which is that they can't even be in the same room), it has affected everyone in the family. I'm affected by them being divorced because I don't have my grandparents as a couple which greatly influences holiday times. All of my family lives in Texas on my dad's side except for my granddad who lives in the DC area. My granddad goes to Texas for Christmas, but they have to have separate Christmas' which is hard. Last Christmas all of the family went to DC to have Christmas with my granddad. It was a sad time for my grandma because she didn't see any of the family at Christmas. That is a big example of divorce has influenced me in my life. I'm sure that it would be hard to have my own parents divorced, but it's hard enough with having my grandparent's divorced.
After learning about divorce has opened my eyes to how to stop divorce from happening. We learned that there always needs to be communication and you have to try at the relationship. Having a good marriage just doesn't happen- action is involved.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Week 9

This week we have been learning about parenting and all of the aspects that go with being a good parent. The purpose of parenting is to prepare children. We discussed the trends that are happening now with children. Parents are waiting longer, choosing to have fewer children, choosing to have no kids, replacing kids with animals, and more using the permissive parenting style. The permissive (door-mat) parent: tries to be more of a friend than a parent, lets the child do whatever they want, and parent's focusing more on themselves than the child.The outcomes of the child are that they will be uncontrollable, selfish, used to getting their way, have no responsibilities, and have no boundaries. In autocratic (authoritarian) parenting, the parent: directs, pressures, "my way or the highway", gives fewer choices, "because I said so", controls through either punishment, manipulation, or rewards, and has too high of expectations. The outcomes of the child are that they either become too dependent or rebellious and have no responsibilities.  The style of parenting that is most effective is the active parenting style. I do agree with this because the statistics are reliable which show that children raised on active parenting benefit in every aspect.In the active parenting style when helping the child make an important decision the parent listens, recognizing emotions, checks understanding, and letting their child know that they are worth something.The parent should also should know the difference between dealing with problems and if the parent should own them or the teenager. If the parent owns the problem, he should provide discipline and either use the less structured discipline approach or the more structured discipline approach. In the less structured the parent should use polite requests, "I" messages, or firm directions. In the more structured the parent should, use logical consequences or the FLAC method. If the teenager owns the problem, the parent should provide support, if appropriate allow natural consequences to teach, and let the teen handle the problem, but offer support through active communication. The parent shouldn't allow the natural consequences to happen is there's danger, the lesson is too far off in the future, or it's affecting other people. We learned that discipline is about teaching respect, life lessons, trust, and love.
I really liked this week because it was very informative and I want to implement the active parenting style to my future children. I think that they will most benefit from having parents who understand how to get the most results by the active parenting style.