Friday, November 4, 2011

Week 7

This week we've been talking about developing your couple relationship early on in marriage. It's very important to develop a strong bond early on and develop patterns so that later on there won't be as many problems. The main focus was to warn about fidelity and how it can happen. I had never really thought about the ways how people get themselves into those types of situations where they might cheat or get a divorce. People who look outside their marriages for bonding have problems arise because they're not supporting each other. This can be done in innocent contexts where the last thing on the person's mind is something inappropriate. The problem with this is that sharing feelings and bonding with someone who isn't your spouse early on in marriage can be harmful because that bond isn't there with your spouse- it's with another. I also learned that fidelity is tied very closely with emotions. Emotions are the number one cause of fidelity. When we start to get more casual with our relationships outside the marriage, the problems arise. What I didn't agree in class was that we shouldn't ever develop close relationships with other people other than our spouse. I think that this is true in early marriage, but not your whole life. It's also different for every single couple- you can't generalize for everyone in the whole world. These are guidelines. I personally think that it's healthy to have friendships with other people. Like parents, siblings, other couples, and family friends. You can't drop the people you love just because you get married. There has to be a balance between your bond between your spouse and the others in your life. You can't be paranoid your whole life wondering if your spouse is cheating. I personally think that when you have these thoughts it just makes the marriage fall apart. I grew up with having family friends and having them come over all of the time. My parents have a great relationship with each other, but they also have friends and spend time with them. My parents also have close relationships with their families are talk to them often. I have grown up this way and also have close relationships with my immediate family as well as my extended family.

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